#7 - Mrs. Everybody Is Somebody
2:22 – Everybody is somebody. I share my experience in Chicago spending time with a person off the street who showed me to the best quesadilla I have ever had (and I love quesadillas). The quesadilla and conversation was by far the highlight of my trip. You don’t know what is going on in somebody’s life and you do not know who you can be in their day. You can be the only smile in that person’s day, you can be the only person who does not hurt them in that day, the only person who says something nice to them in that day. Pro tip: I always use this at restaurants to get the best food and connect with the server: What is your favorite thing on the menu?
6:55 – Melissa shares a moment where she was recently at a coffee shop getting work done. From school, to dating life, to family matters they covered a lot. Clearly she needed to get her words out that day. Melissa was thankful to this person for opening up to her and can appreciate. She will never forget.
9:00 – Do you listen or do you just wait to speak? This is one that I personally can relate to and has stuck in my mind multiple times since. I share a story I came across of a lady appearing to a funeral after seeing the
11:30 – Melissa routinely has been able to spot when I am having a bad day and has paused the conversation to ask what is going on. Melissa looks to talk to people to have them open up. From her past holding things in has had an adverse impact on her life. Being able to open up to others or write things down has been a very therapeutic process for her and will be for you as well.
14:15 – Melissa used to be incredibly scared to talk to others. This came from a deeper meaning that Melissa thought she had nothing to offer. After Melissa’s husband passed away she was forced to learn. She always gravitated to cooking in the past and found a writing event (writing meant a lot to her) which required you to bring a dish. She did this on purpose because she knew if she committed a dish it would be that much harder to back out last minute. She found that she was not the only one scared to share her writing, present and, be in a room with others.
19:35 – Encouragement to go to events. Picture the sense of personal accomplishment you will feel after going to the event. Compare this to the feeling if you do not go to the event.
20:00 – Melissa is now nervous about her next approach to writing in big publications. She was encouraged to reframe her thoughts about being needy to these publishers. She reframed to putting herself into their shoes and seeing the value she could add. Reframing is so very important, if you find yourself with what feels like pestering others I challenge you to reframe the thought to what value are you offering them? How are you improving their life?
22:55 – Melissa shares a story from the south of France recently where the saying is: it is criminal to eat by yourself. She had a table of strangers invite her over, she was open to the experience and met some great new amazing people. The learning: It was not the fact they offered for her to come over, it was the fact she accepted. We are either open to opportunities or we are not. We either close doors or open them in life.
25:50 – Night meditation with Melissa Smith. She will not forget the smile or sound of the ocean on the rocks in France. This is her happy place, remembering very visually the impact of the rocks on the ocean. Everyone should have a place like that stored in their memory.
28:10 – Bad day advice: Have a happy playlist. You know bad things are going to happen so be prepared. Cat videos, songs or comedies. It is hard to be mad when you are laughing!
31:00 – What advice can you give for dealing with someone who is being difficult? I would challenge them to think of them not as difficult but just as misunderstood. There was 1 person at a particular bank who had their reputation proceed her in a negative way. Melissa refused to let other people perspectives be hers. Together they had more referrals, teller accuracy and fun than anyone else. She was a foster mom. When she could get her to talk about her kids everything dropped. Others wouldn’t ask about it because they thought it was uncomfortable. When we think people are difficult they are just misunderstood.
34:00 – Weapon of mass happiness shoots: Weapon that makes people truly fall in love with them selves. When you are truly in love with yourself you have so much more to offer others. When we find faults in others we find them in ourselves. When you are in love with yourself you realize no one is perfect and realize that everyone has issues.